Coming Together

Well, finally I am able to share Sunday's experience. I think the common thread on Sunday was that we were all exhausted.  The Seminar had a little less structure on the second day, but it was easy to see why: everyone was just out of emotional resources.  We started the day with a remembrance service, which I admittedly skipped. I decided to explore the Rita Art Project instead. If you get a chance to check out the work this group is doing, please do.  After that it was time to choose a workshop. Along with about 20 other suicide loss survivors, I sat down with Jackie Garrick, Acting Director of the Defense Suicide Prevention Office.

Jackie is AMAZING! Her office is only about a year old, and yet they are making REAL efforts to prevent suicide in our DoD community.  And she wanted real feedback from us, the survivors, about how we can support our military and other survivors. Can I tell you how wonderful it is to actually have someone listen?  I think as survivors we often feel like our stories and needs fall on deaf ears, which is tremendously frustrating. In an already emotional situation, being brushed off is another injury to our hearts.  Anyway, I think we made some great points, and I know Jackie is going back to her office armed with some excellent ideas.  THANK YOU for taking the time to listen to us!!!

We then had lunch, and returned to our Peer Groups. It was small again, of course, but I think it was wonderful, as we were able to really connect and dive in deep.  I love those ladies I was in a group with (and our facilitator, Franklin).  I hope to connect with them often.  We talked about how in 5, 10, 20 years, all those young kids will be us. We are a growing group, and that is just heartbreaking.  I hope that in the years to come, more resources will be made for adult child survivors, as we, as a population, are about to explode.

By the afternoon, most of us were pretty much tapped out.  It's a fabulous program the TAPS staff puts together for us, but all of it is hard work. Work experiencing our own grief, and supporting others in theirs.  We had a moderated peer panel, on which I represented the adult child survivors, and I think we succeeded in sharing a message of hope. That there IS life after suicide loss.  We can go on and find things that make us happy again, we can celebrate again, and we can remember the love. The motto for the weekend sums it up:

Remember the love, Celebrate the life, Share the journey.

Anyway, I am rambling again. I am so glad I went. Next year, I want Moose and my husband to go with me.  I think it will help him to help me (though he already does an amazing job of supporting me), and to help her cope with the loss of a man she never knew, but loves because I love him.  If you are a survivor of military suicide loss, I strongly encourage getting involved.