I'm Back

I know I've been off the radar for a few weeks, but now I'm back.  That kidney surgery I was hinting about a few months ago....well it happened, but not at all how I had planned.  The doctor's office called me at the end of the business day last Tuesday and said "Can you be here Thursday morning?" It was then, or wait (in excruciating pain) until mid-May, so I jumped on it.  Before then, I was wading through my days, dealing with a lot of pain management issues. I could either be in pain and function, or take meds and be sick all the time.  Neither is much fun.  Anyway, with about 36 hours to plan and get ready for surgery, with a deployed husband and the Moose to take care of, plus run a business and reschedule my busy weekend....it was crazy.

The actual procedure went well, it was an "invasive" surgery, though we weren't sure if they would have to go in or not prior.  Well, the recovery has been hell. In fact, Moose is at school today when she normally would have been home, because all I can really do right now is sleep.  I'm down six pounds from being sick and having no appetite, but I'm so swollen it is difficult to wear jeans or anything that snaps/buttons.  I've been living in yoga pants.  Thank goodness for our FRG for making sure we've had food. Poor Moose, she's had to live with a shadow of her normal Mommy.

Anyway, I admit, all I've wanted for the last week is my husband HOME.  There is no pain in the world like kidney pain, it's totally debilitating. In this crazy military life, we learn to do a lot on our own, but somethings you never want to have to do that.  This is one of them.  Oh, and guess what....I get to do the other side sometime in May.  Alone. Again.  I tend to consider myself Superwoman, even amongst military spouses.  I'm tough, I'm hardened, I'm almost cold.  I just do what I have to do and don't bitch about it.  That's what being a military wife means.  You married them, the deployments, the worry, the whole job....shut up and just take care of business while they're gone. But this is one time I wish we didn't have to go through it.  I'm exhausted, physically and emotionally, and feeling very much alone, despite the support of friends near and far.

I'm feeling better step by step.  I actually expected my recovery to be a little easier than it has been, but unfortunately it hasn't.  I know I won't be able to take care of Moose when they do the other side, the worse of the two.  So I'm trying to plan for that right now.  And I'm finally getting back to work and the other things that keep me busy.  At least for a while.