A few months ago, I mentioned that I am an atheist. It's definitely an unpopular opinion, especially among the military community, which tends to be very pro-religion. I have many, many reasons I do not believe in God, or a higher power. Most of them could be attributed to my highly logical thought process. If I can't see your "proof", don't count on me falling for your fairytales. After all, I don't belive in Mother Goose or Rumplestiltskin or Peter Rabbit. Anyway, I am not going to get into theological debate with this post. I feel the way I feel, and that is that. What I did plan to discuss was how it can be difficult to raise a child in a Christian society when she and I are both atheists. (My husband subscribes to some kind of Catholicism....but I honestly think he would fall under "skeptic".)
A few days ago, I was cursing something under my breath, as I often do, and said "God! I am so sick of __________!" I can't even remember what I was upset about, but I do remember what Moose said to me: "Mom, that hurts my feelings." I told her I wasn't mad at her, and asked her, "What hurts your feelings?" "When you say 'god', Mom."
Clearly she didn't get it from me, and I know they're working on kind words at school, so that must be where it came from. Don't misunderstand, I don't really mind that they are teaching her that we shouldn't say that...if anything, I am respectful of other peoples' beliefs in their deity, and that includes taking the name in vain around Christians and whatnot. However, I am uncomfortable with her thinking that someone saying, "God!" hurts her feelings. It's just a WORD. And I want her to know that she can decide what words she allows to hurt her, and which ones she can just let go. It's a word that essentially means nothing to her at this point. I asked her why that word hurt her feelings, and she just shrugged at me. And that was the end of that.
We also just celebrated Easter. Fortunately, we are still at that age where we can get away with not explaining WHY some celebrate those days, and why our reasons are different than those of the other families we know. I decided long ago that there was no harm in celebrating Easter or Christmas, as there are other myths associated with the holiday that do not revolve around the birth or resurrection of a man. Truly, the spirit of these holidays for our family is the celebration OF the family...just being together, happy and healthy, is reason enough to have a special day, complete with presents, a special meal, and a day to play. But I know that soon enough she will start noticing that we do not attend church, she'll start hearing the stories other children learn in Sunday school, and she'll begin to question why she doesn't go to church as well.
I feel like I'm somewhat prepared to address these issues with Moose, when the time comes. I don't feel the need to include her in a religion just so she is not so different from her peers. When she is old enough, she will be free to decide what she'd like to believe in. But until then, I'll be consistent in my message. I will encourage her to be understanding of differences in religion, just as we are accepting about any other difference. It's about teaching her to be a decent human, an upstanding world citizen. As Thomas Paine said, "My country is the world. My religion is to do good." I think that is a pretty sound mantra.
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