Maybe you caught my annoyance in my post from last week about what it is really like to be a military wife. I'm tired of the stereotypes that surround our active duty spousehood (and for you reserve/NG spouses, too). I admit, a lot of life is who you know, in any occupation. However, that does not automatically make us snotty, elitist, *insert your adjective of choice here* people.
Yes, I belong to the Officers' Wives' Club. Do you want to know why? Sure, it's so we can talk about how we like to spend our husband's huge, fat paycheck. (myth) We also like to sit there and ridicule anyone who we outrank. (myth) Sometimes, we just like to sit there and sip our wine and snarl at enlisted spouses who happen to tragically cross our path. (myth) Most of the time, we just brag about our husband's service record and how many medals and ribbons he's received. (myth)
No, I joined the OWC to connect with other military spouses that, like me, have to move every few years and make new friends and connections. I joined so I have other women to hang out with who understand what it is like to say "goodbye" for MONTHS at a time. And yes, I joined because they have a wine social every month before the main meeting begins. We're not a bunch of bitchy, rich women, who like to shop and look down our noses at others. We do not wear our husband's rank. That's his rank, not mine. And, if you'd really like, you can look up how much our husbands make online. It's probably a LOT less than you think. We don't get special treatment at the commissary or the exchange. We don't criticize others ruthlessly. In other words, we aren't anything like the stereotypes most people associate with "Officer's Wife". My husband has well over a decade of service, and I've been married to him for nearly half of that, and I admit there are still things that I don't know, and that sometimes I need help or to talk to a person who understands.
What we are: helpful, reliable, outgoing, adaptable, caring, ready to reach out to help a stranger, and strong. We are here to support ANY other military spouse as he or she goes through any of the many struggles associated with this life. We have strong shoulders and backbones. And big smiles (usually). We roll with the punches, even when the hits keep coming.
Will you occasionally run into an exception? Sure, but you know...that spouse is probably having a bad day, or really just needs someone to offer a little help or a listening ear. That is one thing we don't get enough of in this lifestyle. I have friends across all the branches, married to spouses of all ranks. And I would never treat a single one of them differently from any other. A friend is A FRIEND. We are all people. I guess that's what I'd really like more of the world to remember. Treat others the way you'd like to be treated, and give people the benefit of the doubt. Don't judge a book by its cover. Yada yada. OK, I'm done with my inspirational bullshit.
But the reverse also goes...if you are rude or unwelcoming to me, don't expect me to grin and roll out the red carpet. I've had that happen, as well, upon my marital status being revealed. The point is, I don't care who you are, I will treat you as a friend until you give me a reason to do otherwise. Then I'll probably just ignore you or wash my hands of it. Your loss and all.
So anyway, tirade over. Wanna come have a pina colada?
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