Meet Daddy

Moose has quite the imagination.  She is often content to play alone for hours at a time, and will tell me to leave her alone.  I am dreading her teenage years if she continues at this rate.  This past weekend has been a rainy and nasty one in So Cal, so we had to entertain ourselves somehow. Yesterday we had several movie marathons, ran to the store, and had fun. Today she preferred to be left to her own devices, which meant I could read all day without too much disturbance. It was wonderful. Until she dragged this guy out of her closet. 

She received this bear as a holiday gift a few years ago, and the thing is literally bigger than she is. I threw it in the closet about a year ago, since it was only taking up room. Today, she decided the bear had a greater purpose in life.  She decided this bear was now Daddy.  Daddy sat on the couch with her, built a fort with her, and generally was dragged around the house the entire day.  This is a photo of Daddy sitting up to the dinner table.  She's spent most of the afternoon and evening talking to Daddy as if he really were her father.

I'm sure that this is completely normal, but I admit to being a little weirded out by it.  My husband does not look like an oversized stuffed bear.  Nor is he predisposed to wearing scarves.  But whatever makes her happy. I had refused to get her a "Daddy Doll" on the premise that they are extremely creepy and border on voodoo doll status.  Especially the ones with the sound recorders.  Creepy. And incredibly tempting to stick pins into.  A lot of moms swear by them...just not our thing.

I'm hoping that "Daddy" can find his way back into the closet tomorrow. I definitely hope I don't end up dragging this bear everywhere with us. He might be hard to explain in the HOV lane.  "No, officer, I swear I'm not trying to skate through here with a toy posing as my 2nd passenger.  Really, I do have a kid in the back, you just can't see her past 'Daddy's' giant head."  Yeah...no.  Usually, Moose is infatuated or fixated on a new stuffed animal for a few days, then it passes and it is tossed in the toy box with so many other flavor of the week castoffs.  One can hope, right?

Whatcha Got Cookin'?

As you may have guessed, there is never a dull moment around here.  Except at the dinner table. I can't cook. Not to save my life, or that of my family.  I once had a friend try to teach me how to cook out of a box. He was unsuccessful.  Most nights, especially while on this deployment, dinner is cereal, ramen, mac n cheese, frozen pizza, chicken nuggets in the microwave, or eggs and bacon (the only thing I can fry without needing to file a homeowner's insurance claim immediately thereafter.)  Tonight: mac n cheese.  I am surprised that we're not eating out any more than we usually do...actually less. Because it's too much damn work to drive anywhere. (We're kind of out in the "rural" part of town, and only one pizza place delivers.)

But sometimes, just sometimes, I get lucky.  See, I like to throw crap in a crockpot and see what happens. (Also my dutch oven, sometimes.)  And once in a while, it's good.  I've recently figured out that blogs with recipes get more hits, so tonight I am starting a new series, appropriately dubbed:
Crap in a Crockpot.
Sorry if the name is offensive.  It's kind of an homage to my dad, who could cook brilliantly, but often made SOS (that's Shit on a Shingle, to you lay folks).  So, here's experiment numero uno.  I was looking for a baked potato soup recipe, and a friend was gracious enough to provide one for me. One that I didn't follow. Now bear in mind, I don't measure really.  So these are approximate.

Crap in a Crockpot: Baked Potato Soup (or something)
5 or 6 potatoes - get the decent sized ones, they're easier to cut - diced into cubes or something
1 box of chicken broth (no, i don't know how many ounces are in a "box")
about 1/2 stick of butter (it's what I had laying around)
1 small onion - finely diced (or use Tastefully Simple's Onion Onion...about 2 tbsps)
salt and pepper...however you like it

So, you got all that crap? Throw it in the crockpot.  Turn it on high for about 3-4 hours.  Or until the potatoes are mushy and you can smoosh them with a spoon (I actually use a handheld blender.)

Then, throw in more crap:
a cup or two of half n half (I use fat free, cuz I have enough fat on my ass)
a small bag of shredded cheddar cheese (I used about 3/4 of it, since it was what I had left)
some bacon - cooked and crumbled
some chives (I like fresh. I say that because it makes it sound like I know what I'm talking about)
a big spoonful of sour cream (I actually put it in now, instead of on top)

Blend all that crap up.  Then you have soup.  Let it cook for another 30-60 minutes on low...enough to make it hot enough to burn your tongue.  Then put it in a bowl, add more cheese and bacon if you like, and eat it. It's delicious.  If you're short on time, I have used baked potatoes from the night before, put it all in a big stockpot on the stove, and had soup in about 30 minutes.

I froze a bunch of it, too, for nights when I'm sick of mac n cheese.  You're welcome.  Stay tuned for more Crap in a Crockpot recipes.

When the Tears Won't Stop

I'm in a super crappy mood today. (And don't even say, "What else is new?" This is on top of any regular moodiness.)  I'm frustrated, my patience is at an all time low, and I'm in a ton of pain (kidneys again) and tired from not sleeping in several days (pain).  Moose is making me crazy, despite a good start to the day with breakfast at IHOP, and all I really want to do is crawl in bed and sleep for 3 days.  Today is my dad's birthday, a day that tortured me every year for the last 7 years.  He would have been 59 years old today, a young retiree, enjoying life. But he's not.

This is definitely not a feel good post. This is a post about awareness.  You see, I lost my dad, an Army officer and combat veteran, to suicide only a few years after he retired.  He had struggled all his life with alcoholism and bipolar disorder, and finally the perfect storm was created when in 2004, he ended his life near his Florida home.

I have many fond memories of my dad, although I suppose not everyone could say the same.  On the surface, he was a highly intelligent man, with a lot of rules and a short temper.  But he was my DAD.  He loved me fiercely, always did what he thought was the right thing by me, and taught me so much.  He was far from perfect, but he's the only dad I had, and that was good enough.  He loved boating, scuba diving and camping (often all together). He was a great soldier.  His temper was something of a family legend, and he could just as easily be the life of the party.  We all knew he had problems with depression, and later I knew he struggled a lot with memories from his time in a combat zone. I will never know why he took his own life. In my eyes, nothing could ever be THAT bad.  But I also know that many of the vets I've met struggle with PTSD and it can be crippling.

We are fortunate that awareness is now on the rise.  Nearly 8 years ago, PTSD was not yet a commonly known term, and the stigma associated with a diagnosis was steep.  Especially among our veteran populations, PTSD, depression, and suicide ideation went untreated and unnoticed (and there was a lot of providers turning the other cheek.)  About 4 years ago, the VA (Veterans Affairs) created a special crisis line that has helped to save over 18,000 veterans since it's inception.  As tempting as it is to say it's too little too late, that would be extremely selfish.  It may have been too late to save our family from this unending and crippling pain/grief, but even one life saved in this battle is a victory.  I could spew facts about Veteran and Active Duty suicides at you all day long, but I'll save that for another time, when my head and heart are in a better place.  Today is one of 3 days a year that I allow my grief to consume me.  (The other is my birthday....also the anniversary of the last time I saw my dad before his death, and the anniversary of his death. Holidays are extremely difficult, too, but these 3 are the worst.)

For a great article, published today (of all days) on The Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/08/veterans-crisis-line_n_1322423.html?page=1

Believe it or not, I've had people say to me that I should just be grateful for the time he had here on Earth, and that I was well into adulthood when he passed.  To those morons, I have a few choice words. There is so much he missed out on, like my wedding, the birth of Moose, watching her grow, just being here because I need him.  There is something different about the grief you feel when you lose a loved one to a senseless act.  The hole is deeper, more raw.  So today, I'm going to wallow in my pit of grief, be miserable, and generally unpleasant to be around.  It's a lot harder with my husband gone.  He is such a rock for me when I have days like this, ready to help me however I need it, even to get Moose out of the house and give me some space.  Except last year. Last year he managed to pull duty on both my dad's birthday and his death anniversary.  Yes, I'm still bitter.

Please, if you or someone you care about is in trouble or just needs to talk to someone, the Veterans Crisis Line can be reached at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or http://veteranscrisisline.net/ or text message 838255.  I don't want anyone to ever feel this pain that I feel today.  You can get help.  You don't have to be afraid or ashamed.  


Also, please visit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention to learn more about how we are working with the government and health care providers to eliminate the stigma and promote services to all armed services veterans. www.afsp.org

Little Crescents from Heaven

I think you all know that I am a contributing writer for Semper Fi Momma. Recently we did a SFM Panel Review for these amazing little things called Eyedews.

Here's a little excerpt from the official panel :
I’m telling everyone about Eyedews!  I rarely make time to treat my skin the way I should, and the result is clear:  puffy eyes, shadows, lots of fine lines where they shouldn’t be.  I tried Eyedews for the first time at the end of an exhausting day of work and allergies.  I was amazed by how they reduced the swelling under my eyes and tightened up the skin, smoothing the wrinkles, and I felt so decadent while wearing them!  I tried them straight out of the refrigerator a few days later, same stunning result…but a little better! I noticed by my third pair in about a week’s time, the results were getting better with each application and lasting longer, too! As a busy mom, wife, and business owner, I have limited time for pampering, but my Eyedews are quick and easy.  I always have time to treat myself now.


I was only allowed 100-150 words, which was clearly NOT enough to describe the experience!  I have to offer my disclaimer, I was not paid by Eyedews or SFM for this review, except in years taken off my face by this three-pack of miracles. :-D

So, I received my Eyedews in the mail and couldn't wait to try them. You know I haven't slept much at all these last several weeks.  When I do fall asleep, I get woken up soon thereafter.  Combined with allergy season that is upon us in Southern California, and the fact that my stress level has been through the roof....well, I have been carrying extra luggage under these eyes.  (When my father-in-law Skypes with me and says I look tired, you know it's bad. But I still love him!)  My eyes have been SO puffy, swollen, red, shadowed, you name it...and I'm getting those little fine lines around my eyes, too.  I also happen to have very sensitive skin that breaks out the moment I mention a new product, but with the Eyedews, I wasn't worried. Very safe, soothing, natural ingredients, and BONUS: collagen!!!

A few nights after they arrived, I finally got Moose in bed at a decent hour, without me, and had some time to relax. PERFECT! I tore into the little package to discover these little things that look like minature chicken cutlets (ladies, you know what I mean) and that felt smooth, silky and cool.  Well, I slapped those babies right under my eyes and had a moment...I swear, it was instant! I left them on for about 20 minutes, and caught up on some of my DVR shows. Then I flipped them up to the top of my eyelids for a little lift. When I removed them (I really didn't want to), I had to go check the results in the mirror...I'd have taken pictures, except I was pretty scary at the time...anyway, seriously amazing results in only half an hour. I had no more puffiness, the thin lines were noticeably less noticeable, and I looked AWAKE for the first time in weeks. I was a believer! And a bonus that they are so easy to use and apply!

There is a little card of "suggestions" that will come with your Eyedews...apparently some people like them straight out of the refrigerator, so I thought, "What the heck? Everything is better cold, right?" And when I used eyedews for a second time a few mornings later, they felt SOOOO good! And the results were even better. The more I used these wonderful, magical delights, the better they worked.  I was sad when I was down to my last pair, so I really relished that time and took a nice long bubble bath while Moose was at school.  I soaked, enjoyed my Eyedews, and watched movies on Netflix.  It was divine, but now I need to order more. I'm hooked.

Speaking of ordering more, if you visit the panel review over at Semper Fi Momma (http://www.semperfimomma.com/2012/02/sfm-panel-review-eyedews/) there are some codes valid through tomorrow to help score you some FREE Eyedews! Seriously, you have to check these out. They are amazing.  If I could wrap my whole body in Eyedews, I would.  So go, check them out. I am going to be recommending them to all my clients from now on!

Yes, I'm an Officer's Wife...So?

Maybe you caught my annoyance in my post from last week about what it is really like to be a military wife.  I'm tired of the stereotypes that surround our active duty spousehood (and for you reserve/NG spouses, too).  I admit, a lot of life is who you know, in any occupation.  However, that does not automatically make us snotty, elitist, *insert your adjective of choice here* people.

Yes, I belong to the Officers' Wives' Club.  Do you want to know why? Sure, it's so we can talk about how we like to spend our husband's huge, fat paycheck. (myth) We also like to sit there and ridicule anyone who we outrank. (myth) Sometimes, we just like to sit there and sip our wine and snarl at enlisted spouses who happen to tragically cross our path. (myth) Most of the time, we just brag about our husband's service record and how many medals and ribbons he's received. (myth)

No, I joined the OWC to connect with other military spouses that, like me, have to move every few years and make new friends and connections. I joined so I have other women to hang out with who understand what it is like to say "goodbye" for MONTHS at a time. And yes, I joined because they have a wine social every month before the main meeting begins. We're not a bunch of bitchy, rich women, who like to shop and look down our noses at others. We do not wear our husband's rank.  That's his rank, not mine. And, if you'd really like, you can look up how much our husbands make online. It's probably a LOT less than you think.  We don't get special treatment at the commissary or the exchange. We don't criticize others ruthlessly.  In other words, we aren't anything like the stereotypes most people associate with "Officer's Wife".  My husband has well over a decade of service, and I've been married to him for nearly half of that, and I admit there are still things that I don't know, and that sometimes I need help or to talk to a person who understands.

What we are: helpful, reliable, outgoing, adaptable, caring, ready to reach out to help a stranger, and strong. We are here to support ANY other military spouse as he or she goes through any of the many struggles associated with this life. We have strong shoulders and backbones.  And big smiles (usually).  We roll with the punches, even when the hits keep coming.

Will you occasionally run into an exception? Sure, but you know...that spouse is probably having a bad day, or really just needs someone to offer a little help or a listening ear.  That is one thing we don't get enough of in this lifestyle.  I have friends across all the branches, married to spouses of all ranks.  And I would never treat a single one of them differently from any other. A friend is A FRIEND.  We are all people. I guess that's what I'd really like more of the world to remember.  Treat others the way you'd like to be treated, and give people the benefit of the doubt. Don't judge a book by its cover. Yada yada.  OK, I'm done with my inspirational bullshit.

But the reverse also goes...if you are rude or unwelcoming to me, don't expect me to grin and roll out the red carpet. I've had that happen, as well, upon my marital status being revealed.  The point is, I don't care who you are, I will treat you as a friend until you give me a reason to do otherwise. Then I'll probably just ignore you or wash my hands of it.  Your loss and all.

So anyway, tirade over. Wanna come have a pina colada?

She Did It!

Moose earned her trip to Disneyland.  It was my poor planning to go on Leap Day...apparently all of the western hemisphere had the same idea.  Oh well. We had a great time anyway!  Did you know that for current active duty military, you can buy a Park Hopper ticket for $99 and come two more days?  So now we have tickets to go twice more.  Parking at $15 still sucks, but at least they provide free shuttles, and the drivers are REALLY friendly and helful!

We started our day with the Minnie and Friends Breakfast at the Plaza Inn.  HIGHLY recommend this experience! Totally worth $37.88 for the two of us.  I will do it every time we go.  Here's Moose's face when she saw her first character arrive, Wendy from Peter Pan:

She almost cried, she was so excited. Then she was totally tongue-tied.  I think she was a little starstruck.  Then she was able to meet Captain Hook, Tigger, Eeyore, Chip, and Minnie herself! There were other characters wandering around, but she wasn't too interested in those.  The characters make a HUGE effort to visit with each table, and the food was pretty good! I'd rate the whole breakfast a 8.5/10, only docking points because they didn't have pancakes.

After we ate, we went to do a few rides. The teacups, Dumbo, carousel, and It's A Small World (Moose LOVED this one!)  We really wanted to see Rapunzel, but can you imagine waiting in line for 75 minutes with a 3 year old? No, neither can I.  We did do the Princess Fantasy Faire or whatever it's called.  She got to meet Ariel, Cinderella and Snow White, and have pictures taken with each of them, which I'll be buying, of course. My point and shoot camera decided to completely fail me yesterday. Time for a new one.

Here are a few I took....

It was freezing yesterday, therefore the shirt under her princess gown. She was pretty disappointed we didn't see Belle anywhere.  But I told her there is always next time. We had a total meltdown when we left, but we were both exhausted.  But, this mommy survived it, and lived to tell the tale.  We'll be going again soon, I think. I enjoyed it as much as she did!