I am a planner and have a small addiction to Google Calendar. (Yes, I currently have more than 10 different calendars: work, personal, marketing, media, etc.) So, when my husband was due to leave on deployment, I sat down with a pencil and worked out exactly where Moose and myself would be spending our time. What can I say? I like my time management. I'm not OCD, I just function better when I have my day laid out ahead of time and know exactly what goals and deadlines I need to meet.
I created a general schedule to guide my weekly planning. Moose has preschool three days a week, and the other two days I take off from work and try to fill them with activities that are educational, fun, and wear her the heck out. I'm not ashamed to admit it: sometimes it is exhausting to play both parental roles, and run a business, and maintain a home. I was never cut out to be a SAHM (stay at home mom), but I am fortunate enough that my work can primarily be done from or near home. Usually, by the end of our "days off", Moose and I are about sick of each other. We both like a lot of social stimulus, and get bored with just each other quickly. It doesn't help that we're both very strong-willed, either, I suppose.
Today was a "day off" from school for her, and work for myself. It is almost 5 p.m. and I'm done. We started our day with an early grocery store trip. Usually I like to do the shopping when she is in school or I just have groceries delivered, but this morning we were completely out of milk, and that does not go over well in this house. Anyway, we got the groceries without a hitch, which was a bit unexpected, but the afternoon was not so easy. I had planned to take a trip to the park and to play with sidewalk chalk outside on the patio, but cooperation was in limited supply today.
What is it about a preschooler's mess that just gets under my skin? Is it the Barbies and their shoes and pieces all over the floor? Or is it that she can literally pull every article of clothing out of her closet and go through a complete fashion show in under five minutes, then leave it all on the floor? (And why can't she get dressed that quickly when we have somewhere I have to be?) Or maybe it was the fact that the mess trickled down the staircase and took over the entire first floor. Whatever it was, it was not a good start to the afternoon, and then when she refused to settle down for some quiet time and instead insisted on bouncing all over the bed I was trying to make, I reached the breaking point: she got a Time Out.
Usually, Moose is golden. But the last few weeks and the stress of Daddy leaving has left her in the Behavior Badlands. I'm not a patient person by nature, so maybe I got a little stern when I ordered her to her room for a Time Out. She doesn't usually need any sort of correction. I never get past "2" when I count to three. So this time, she cried for about 15 minutes before finally falling asleep.
I'm dreading bedtime now. It's 5 p.m. and far too late for a nap. But when I'm on my own, sometimes I just have to roll with it so I can finally get things done. Like the laundry piled up from the last week. Or the sink full of dishes. Or simply making an actual dinner that doesn't come from a box of Lucky Charms. We're barely into the deployment, and already I have moments of questioning if I can do this. I guess I just have to. And I have to find a lot of new ways to entertain her and wear her out.
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